Forbiden Fruit Read by Valken Voorhees
by KodyKrypt
Summary: Valken, girlfriend of Jason Voorhees, attempts to read and add her commentary to Forbidden Fruit: the Temptation of Edward Cullen. I own nothing but Valken. And my makeup.
1. Chapter 1

**Kody: hey all. Sooo I decided to have a lil fun and read this gawdawful fanfic (and mine are pretty bad) and give you a point of view. No, not my point of view. Valken Voorhess'! Ya know that chick doin it with Jason Voorhees, with the black hair, and pale skin, just getting it on with a zombified-**

**Valken: I think that's enough. So as she said, I'll be commentating this story with my own dialogue that some find funny. Enjoy!**

DISCLAIMER! We own nothing in here. That goes to…..that one chick who wrote this, bless her heart.

AN hey guys this is the new improved verson of my story, hope its better this time! btw i am young and have dyslexia i find spellin hard but its meant2 be unformal ok! no critisism pls! tis story goes out 2 my bf zac(kisses!) amd my besfreind Tiffi LOVE YA GRRRL! EDWARD IS OUR GODD!(we wanna SEX him gud!) x x x x x x x love &blood becky mac! xxx x x xx

UPDATE: I have a proofreader and I have cleaned up the spelling and grammer on this chaptor a hell of a lot as you will see (thank u vickie!) i will be imrpoving the next chaptors soon. **(Oh yeah, I can tell the proofreader has really helped…)**

Chapter 1 – Altantiana **(AKA Mary-Sue)**

Hey, my names Atlantiana Rebekah Loren (but everyone calls me Tiana or just plain Tiaa).**(I'm Valken Jayne Voorhees. Yup. Jayne. After the song by LA Guns.)** I am a 16 year old girl and I live in Forks, Washington! **(I'm 28 and I live in Camp Crystal Lake New Jersey. Exclamation point,)**My hair is long and pale like spun gold and skims to my waist like a pale shimmering amber mist. **(My hair's black and I cut it real short. Oh, sorry, like a….onyx mist or whatever.) **My eyes are deep forgetminot blue and my delicate fentures are lilly white and pure as the winter snow in moonlight. **(I'm pale too! Cuz I wear sunscreen! And my eyes are steel gray. Or green. Or Blue. Miss Kody up there hasn't decided.) **I've been told by loads of sleazy, ugly, HORNY guys that I'm real pretty and look like a model or a bunny girl (some of the guys who like me are really old and try to make opt with me its disgusting and weird!)but basically a lot of the girls I meet tell a different story. They say I'm too ivory white and ethereal **(who the hell says ethereal? Especially to another girl you hate?) **and too skinny and that I look anorexic which i don't care about, but I think its seriously disrespectful to people with REAL eating disorders (btw i'm so totally not anorexic! I eat loads I just never gain weight and I'm not thin enough to be anorexic anyways, I think they were just being BIATCHES especially this one ratty brain called Ellie Mayfair who I hope freaking DIES in PAIN with SHIT ON HER FACE! Sorry, I'm not really such a batch but she is SO horrible if you met her you'd think the same!)

Anyways I am quite tall and slim and but with really big boobs that I used to HATE because they look noticeable on my slender body and draw to much attention but now i like them and don't care who stares at me!** (that's a physical impossibility, dear. Size D on a skinny chick? Sorry, any doctor can tell you that doesn't happen naturally.) ** I have a lip ring and recently put black and indigo and magenta streaks in my long pale blond hair. I smell like mint and cinnamon. I wear mostly black and hot pink, deep purple and neon blue and listen to COOL music! **(I listen to cool music to. Like The Vitamin String Quartet. Al B Damned. Sometimes even GASP Brahms.)**

It is my first day at school in forks as I just moved here to live with new foster parents Dave and Marie. They are nice and all very hole some sweet people but it is not like having a real family. I've been hurt to many times to let people close to me and I don't talk to them very much.** (Rude little…dude they didn't have to take your ass in, shut up and be nice.) ** My real mom died when I was born and I never knew my real dad. I sometimes wonder what he is like and if I will ever get to met him. Dave gave me a ride to school and I smiled faintly as he wished me good luck and I got out of the car and went into the school. Loads of people freaking stared at me as I walked down the hall. I was wearing tight black leather pants with silver chains at the waste and a red fishnet-like top and you could see my black lacy bra through it. **(That is not a goth sweetie, that is slut wear. Far be it from me to badmouth lacy black bras and leather pants. I wear those. You just can't see my bra. Cuz I'm modest.) ** I ignored whispers and the big pink cheerleader imbosils pointing at me. I was used to it and I paid no at-tension to the guys asking desperately for my number(like hell I'd even LOOK at the horny little donkeys!) and told a ditsy blond cheerleader called Jessica to STFU(!) when she called me a freak! Next time she tries anything I'll hit her in the eye cause NO ONE messes with me nemore! My first day I was relay board, I sat gazing out of the window into the gray cloud-embittered sky for most of the morning, My teachers all looked at me disprovable but said nothing cause they probably new I was a foster kid and a Gothic and didn't want to upset me in case I cut them up as they slept,.** (Oh yeah. Let me rant a bit here. IDGAF if you think you are hot shit. Your teachers have seen goth before. It's not scary. Cutting people up in their sleep means you have serious mental issues. Serious mental issues =/= goth. My teachers never cared that I wore a lot of black and monochrome. They still sent me to the office if I didn't turn my homework in. )**

My ears are pierced four times, I have a tattoo of a scorpion(like S my birth-sign!) on my ankle and a Gothic cross on my shoulder, and on my hand i have a weird birthmark in the shape of a seven-pointed star that I've had all my life. Your probably wandering why I'm bothering to tell you this, well I tell you now I am no ordinary sixteen year old girl. I have a secret, a dark and forbidden secret witch I am only just beginning to understand. When I sleep I hear whispers in another language and even though I understand them at the time, when I wake up i can't remember it! I also see weird faces in my dreams that fade to nothingness when I open my eyes and I swear out the corner of my eye my birthmark glows shocking bright gold and gets relay hot sometimes but when I look properly it is back to normal boarding scar-color! I am really gracefull like the running anti-lopes when I run very fast and am stronger and faster than most people. I used to just think i was relay athletic but now I'm not so sure, I think there might be something else at work, something so much more mysterious and eeire. The truth hovers so softly on the brink of my memory sometimes but if only i could remember the weird things that clung to the edge of my mind as I slept! **(I'm not normal either. I live in the f*cking woods with my boyfriend and kill people for a living. And pay dues to a strip club owner for protection. Oh yeah. Life is good.)**

At lunch I sat alone in the corner and scanned the cafeteria quietly with my eyes smoldering dark blue beheath my long black lashes and my slim thighs curled under me. It was the n I noticed an unbelievably jaw-droopingly hawt HAWT HAAAAAAAAWT dude with tusseted blondey-brown hair, golden yellow eyes like wells of hot caramel and pale sexy features. He was tall and mussel and looked like he was wearing eyeliner **(You know who's hot? Dr Spencer Reid. Damn that boy is a sexy piece of nerdy cake. Oh I'm sorry, I thought we were babbling bout crap that DOES NOT MATTER.) **and my body got hot and cold all at once as I looked at him. I'd never felt this way about anyone before and I'd totally never felt this weird feeling that I'd met someone before but I had no idea where and i knew it was impassible because I'd freaking remember someone THAT hawt! A girl sat next to him with long brown hair with her arms dripped over him like a freaking flesh-eating plant so i thought well whatevah, hes taken. She wasn't nearly as hawt as he was, she wasn't ugly though. I figured I was maybe prettier then her. I never really saw myself as beautiful **(Yeah right. That's why you show off your bra.)**but i'd guessed from thinks others had said, plus this girl wasn't great looking but anyways I'd never try to pilch with another girls' BF cause thats just low. So I got up to leave the hall thinking I'd go and smoke some bald drugs in the locker room while no one was there. As I waked over to he exit I couldn't help but notice the hawt pale guys musky eyes as they met mine. I locked away hurriedly. I smocked dope in the locker room for a bit then I wondered to my next class. **(and got caught for SMOKING POT IN SCHOOL YOU STUPID HO BAG.)** I bumped into someone in the corridor and my bocks fell everywhere! FRICK! FRICK! FRIIIICKK!

"WTF!" I screamed loudly, "watch where your FREAKING going you asshole!" (i have anger problems) **(So do I. It explains the whole woods and killing people thing, huh? But I don't scream at strangers. I have a teeny lil heart.)**

"I'm so so sorry" he said in a voice like wet heaven "please forgive me my lady"

It was the hawt pale guy!


	2. Chapter 2

**(Once again, I own none of this…except Valken's commentary. Beckymac666 owns the rest. Bless her heart.)**

AN - VINCENT or watever ur name is thanx 4 the LAME reviw. u totall D*** no one is MAKIN u reed this fic if you dont like it then leave.

Clestal zodiac and brittany j - thanx for the advice on my character but shes not a marysue, she's not "perfect" look she has anger problems and she looks the way she does 4 a reason i will explain it as the story goes on.

Chapter 2 - edward

The anger faded form my sapphire eyes **(Thought they were forget-me not but whatever.)**

"whatevah" **(THAT'S MY WORD!) ** i said sweatily "I didnt mean to yell and to be ride"

"thou are too beuatiful for that" he said, **(WHO THE HELL TALKS LIKE THAT.)** and for once I didnt feel like cockdropping the guy for paying me a compilement, instead I just smiled.

"I'm Ewdard Cullen" he mermered "who are thee?"

"Altatntiana Loren but you can call me Tiana or mabye Tiaa" i said feeling shy at the way he was looking at me. I had seen THAT look in so many male eyes but never quite as intense or sexy! His eyes burned like hot gold velvet in the midday sun like peonix feathers and rainbows, so gold and magical. **(Jason has brown eyes. Oh you were waiting for more? Ok. They're as brown as brownies covered with chocolate chips. And coca cola.) **

"thou reminds me of bygone times" he said, carefully retching out a shaking hand and brushing my cheek "thy face is like an old painting, thou is exceptional"" **(Cuz way back then, they had piercings and pink streaks in thine hair. Not that eddie would know. He's like 100, and that's sooo old enough to remember how to talk like a victorian gentleman.)**

"your not so shanky yourself but i couldn't help noticing you have a fricking GF, you ass! I saw u with her in the cafeteria!" I notched his hand hard with my long black nails.

"thee DID notice me then?" he purred with a sly grin. I was up against the wall with his face right close to me now. He wanted to sex me I could tell, and suddenly he was kissing me! I felt like my slim legs would break in half and my heart expanded like a big balloon. I fell his hand sliding softly down my neck an underneath my top. He stoked my breasts for a few minutes and his man-carrot standing in action and hard as a rock against my legs. And then he ripped my top and pulled it of me and doped it on the floor. **(Where are the teachers in this school? I mean she smokes pot. And now is getting some from a carrot. But a manly carrot at least.) **We made out for 10 minutes and then he tried to take of my bra but I pushed him away suddenly thinking WTF Tiaa are you just gonna let this total stranger take your cloths off in school where anyone could see you? I'd never let a guy kiss me before or touch me and suddenly I was letting this cheating sicko with a FRICKIN GF grope me just cause he was uber hawt with sexoy hair and cold as death! I was acting like a biatch and a slut and I was suddenly very ashamed of my actions.

-BASTARD! Never touch me again!" i gapsed

"If thou thinks thou can keep thou hands of me!" he answered all smug, and I couldn't believe how he made me feel so angry and so aroosed at the same time. At that moment I'd never HATED anyboy more in my whole life and the worst part of it was he was SO FREAKIN HAWT I was totally creaming my panties **(Oh ew. EWW EW EW EW EW. Ew! That is a medical condition! Get thineself to a doctor!)**


	3. Chapter 3

AN - hi guys hope u like this one im quite proud of it! thanx for the suport from my frends love u girls!glad u like it! oh an VINCENT ur so dumb of course tiaa didnt go to math in only her bra shes not a total ditz! one more time...DONT READ IF U DNT LIKE IT!NO frickin flames what is the POINT of flamin ppl there is NO POINT so f off!

Capter 3 – uncle larry

I sa t alone watching tv at dave and maries house. I couldnt stop thinking about my encounter with Ewdard Cullen earlier that day. He was so beuatifull and sexoy with such amazing hair and eyes I could hardly believe he had notice someone like me! **( How could he not when he can see your bra? Guys notice that.) **But I was angry at how he had made me feel, how I'd burnt like crimson hot flame wean he touched me and how he'd not listened to me when id' told him to fring off, and how he dared to touch me at all when he had a GF anyways, even if she was a mean girl with an ugly heart and not that hawt. But nomatter how much I try to hate him, I simply couldn't. Suddenly the phone range

"hello "

"hey, is that altantiana?"

"yah who is this?" I aksed.

"its Mike nooton from your class! I was wondering if your wanted to go to La Plush with me too morrow night maybe? Theres a party on the beech with whole crowd of us going and I thought you seemed relay nice so I thought maybe youd want to me my date please? -

"arent you the guy who hangs out with all the pathetic chearleaders and stuff?" I asked

"you mean bella and jessica's gang? Sometimes I guess but theyr'e way shallow and not as hot as you. And they can be mean sometimes.-" **(When did Bella become a cheerleader? That's new.)**

"then why do hang out white them then you shallow CREEP!and why are you askin me out when you harely no me mike! Cos u think im' hot? Why cant you see your just as shallow if you want to date someone just cost of what they look like - I'm not THAT pretty anyways! **(Riiiiiiight.) ** And even if i was, I'm SO screwed up in the bran you cant even imagine! u would no want to date me if you new how screwed up I was!" **( Kody: I has depression. And anxiety. And BDD. But I still find time to date. Lot's of time. Oh, sorry, back to Val.) **

"I would, tia, beleive me I would! Your so beautiful you cant even imagine. Your so pretty people lose there minds when your around and forget there names and forget to brethe! How can't you have noticed that? And I don't CARE how screwed up you are! It only maked you more interesting! Your cool and different and you are honest about stuff! you are right to be angry with me. I'm sorry for benign shallow and dumb just give me a chance to show you how much I care, please? " **( I wouldn't believe that if I saw it in a Jennifer Aniston rom-com…)**

"well...ok maybe ill go along if I dont have anything else to do" i said, not believing a word he said about how pretty i was. **(Oh no. Course not.) **

"thank you altantiana thank you so much!" he sounded so happy I couldnt help but smile as I put the phone down but my smile faded as I return to my thoughts. Mike Nooton was kinda cute and seemed like an ok guy but he was nothing next to Ewdard Cullen. Even though I was anger with edward than I have ever been with anyone in my life and part of me wanted to chop his head off with a sore, a part of my soul would all ways remain in that coridoor where we had kissed so hard and passionably. I creamed myself. My heart had soared that day like never before, and i new that no one else would ever make me feel like that again, then I thought how he was a cheater and a bastard and my face burnt with shame. I couldn't beleive I had behaved like such a hore.**(Cuz you weren't before?)** I was scared of the affect he had on me.

"bye tiaa! We'll be back on Thursday ok?" mari put her head rind the door suddenly

"Ok then, have fun" I wispered clammily..dave and marie where visiting relatives for a few day.

"you look so pretty" she says, smiling -your the prettiest gril i've ever seen!" **(Kody: dude. My own mother doesn't say that to me. My grandma doesn't. Do you really need that much reassurance? Holy crap, get a doctor, my god. Back to Val.)**

"omg whatever" I reply. I hated it wen people say that. I pulled my blond hair over my face. I was wearin a short hot pink dress cut low with black lace frills at the bottom and black lace stocking. **(Sooooo totally goffick. Sounds more like fashion model to me. I'd wear it if it came in purple.)**

"daves brother larry will be looking after you wile where gone you'll be ok when where gone wont you tiaa? I hate to leaven you alone like this!"

"i don't need a freakin babysiter u no!" i was so embarasing, I could look after myself!

Marie smiles and leaves the house.

"greeting a;latnaniana my names uncle larry" said uncle larry, he came in threw the door he was fat and bald with tiny black eyes and a red face

"Hey - i said

"your the orphan arent you" he says "is it true you kiled your mother when she gave birth to you?"

"Wat!" I cry, my eyes filling with tears

"your an evil bich arent u? Go outsite and wash my car" he shouts angerly

I stood up and left to wash his car. I got soap and a bucket, afraid of what he would do if I refuzed. I went outside and started to wash hush car it was a red porche. He came outside and wached me and I new he was waching me! After a minite he came over and hit me hard across the face

"wft!" i shouted

He poored the bucket of water all over me and hit me again,. I was wet and crying and he started to rip my dress and bra of me and rip my clothes. He touched my naked breats and I try to push him off me I screamed at him to stop but he did'nt. He bent me over the bonet of his car and spanked me on the ass for half an hour then he pulled my panties down and started to rape me! **(yeah. I love the way you write that, like abuse and rape is so trivial. You insensitive –bbbbbblllank-. I hope you die in a hole.)**

"stop raping me!" I cry but he didnt stop! The pain was terrible even tough his manhood was small. I cryed and cryed but he didnt stop for hours and when he finally stopped he left me on the floor and spat in my face and left me there. I pulled on my clothes and cryed madly and ran off into the seething darkness of the midnight street. I ran and ran un till I came to some woods and then I fell down in the woods and cryed. **(You didn't go to the police! ARE YOU SERIOUS!)**

Suddenly a blast of white light exploded in head and my mark on my hand burned like a flame. I closed my eyes and saw the face of a tall white man looking over me with no expression, his eyes were burning red and his face glimmered cold and bright as the moon,. I fell back from the brightness of his body, his hair was dark as night,.

"atlantiana?" he whisperd in a voice softer than clouds -my daughter?-

"omg" I whisperd as my mind went blank and the world went dark.


	4. Chapter 4

AN = No flames pls, theres no point!if u dnt like my story dnt read it, its as simple as that! btw atlantiana is NOT marisue be cause look she is NOT perfect and not everyone in the stiry likes her! she has problems and she has flaws and shes UNHAPPY would u like her life?i no i wouldnt, its totally tragic and horible.u flamers arent even makin sense1

Chapter 4 - la push

I sat quitely on the la push beech apart form the party that was going on beside me. Mike Nooton was following me round like a pulpy and he was so borin! None of the things he had to say were interesting but I was nice to him because he wasnt a bad guy. My thoughts were elsewhere - i could'nt stop thinking about the events of last night, when uncle larry had raped me and I had had my scary vision in the forest and a tall p[ale guy in my mind had cale me his daughter. I didnt understand any of I felt so so awful that I had been rapped by that hideous pervy SICKO when I had bin saving myself for the right guy and for marriage and my virginity was torn from my grasp by that twisted guy, it was so crule and unfair, it made me want to cry **(yeah. When you're raped, all you can think about is how mean he was to take your virginity. Not like he violated you and you should CALL THE COPS. Yeah. Hope you die you whiny -bbbbbeeeeeeeep-)**

"omg MIKE watt are you doing talkin to HER?" I turned round and saw four nasty faces learing at us. It was the chearleaders I had seen in the cafetearia, and one of them was the girl dateing Ewdard Cullen, the brown hare girl who was standing at the back looking moody but not saying anything

"Stop being mean Jessica" mike said angerly "tiaas' awesome and if you can't see that its just you bein blind and shallow and stupid like your all ways are"

"yah I mean look at her clothes, she looks like a stupid goth biaach with her slutty top and short skirt and fithnet tights is she a RAT HOOKER or what?" **(Don't agree with the goth part, but I do agree with the slutty comments. Love ya Jess. Stay golden) **Jessica screamed. She was realy ugly when she shouted even though she was technology a hot chick and was dressed in skimpy pink clothes.

"you no what Jess, you and YOur frends are SO shallow and YOU are the real slut! you and bella and angela and laruen may were short skirts and low cut tops an stuff but that doesnt maek u beautiful! Its watt underneath that counts!" mike shouted

"yah, speakin of witch" said a sly blond girl in the gang who was called lauren, pointing at me "watts with her breasts, they are huge, I bet they are fake!- she laughed and her friends all laughed too even bella and angela who had been quiet until then.

I got up and pushed past them and ran away into the darkness. I cold hear them all laughing at me and i felt so embarrased I was relay sensitive about the waste I looked I hated the fact that it made all girls hate me and all guys stare at me, I would have given anything to be ugly or just inviable. I wasnt stuck up and didnt think I was beta than anyone else because of how I looked I just wanted people to treat me like a normal person! I could'nt help being slim and blond with relay big boobs it wasnt my fault I hadnt done anything wrong! **(It's the authors fault honey. It's ok.)**

-are u ok?" said someone from beside me

"who arr you?" i asked. 3 realy pretty goth girls were standing there smilin at me and I smiled back

-we are tyffani, abigaille and rochelle" they said smiling "you seem cool, do you want to be our freinds?" **(Let's wander up to the mary-sue emo chick who trivializes rape. Yeah. Sod off)**

"ya of course, i'm just a bit meloncolly cause those horrible chearleaders were bein mean jerks and saying my boobs were fake" i said

"omg, u mean jessica and bellas gang? They hate us too because we dont care what they think" said tyfanni "they are just jealous cause youre the prettiest girl in the school now and theyre all plain next to you but we dont care about stuff like that, we only care about peoples personalities " **(Kody: Don't care how much I like somebody, I don't randomly walk up to somebody and call them the prettiest girl in school. Don't feel like feeding their egos.)**

"cool" I said, and we talked for hours

I talked to tyfanni, rochelle and abigail for hours **(You said that already.) **and they were so cool. I'd never had proper freinds before who didnt care watt i looked like or where I came from they just liked me for me, and I liked them cause they were uber cool and we had loads of stuff in common! But after a while they all went home and I stayed on the beech. It was getting late but I didnt want to go home to uncle larry in case he raped me on his car again. Soddenly I heard a voice from behind me.

"well tiaa, thou seem to be causing quite a stir at school" his voice was smooth and sexoy and from another time. Edward.

"what do you mean!" I demanded

"basically every gay at school wants to have sex with thee, and every girl wants to eat thee alive for it, hows that for causing a stir my lady?" he smiled and kissed my neck. **(every GAY wants to have sex with you? Oh. My god.)**

"shut up jerk! Btw I met youre girlfriend before, bella I think her name is! I dont like her or anything, but how the hell can u cheat on her like that and kiss me how u did? Its sick ur a cheatin bastard and i should tell everyone. Tyfanni told me you and bella are like the schools golden couple or something, watt would happen if I told ppl how you had acted in that corridoor with me?"

"OMG SWEET LADY! THY MUST NOT TELL ANYONE! " he screamed "it was a moment of madness thats all! Im so so sorry for watt happened,i hope thine can forgive me, but ive promised myself to bella and thats just how it is, no matter how much thou intrests me"

"fine, then stay away from me " I shouted as I left to go home but he followed me and grabbed me and pushed me down on the grind. I was burning with anger and fury but I wanted him so deafly i didnt even try to resist him. He new how much i wanted him and it drove me mad. He put his hands inside my panties and i gasped. I was soddenly desperate to sex with him and i tore my clothes off and i was in my underwear. I took off my bra and showed him my naked heaving beasts. **(Yeah, just give up your modesty and morals that you moments ago were all high and mighty about.)**

"have sex with me now edward " I whispered

" i cant " he said, although his body was on top of mine and his fingers touched my nipples

"please, i'm begging you" I said, hating myself for being such a dirty hore but unable to control my burning desire

-NOOOO!" he shouted and ran away crying.

I put my clothes back on slowly feeling so ashamed and embarased i could hardly move. I could'nt beleive i had begged him to do sex on me and even worse he had said no! I went home and uncle larry made me cook his dinner and suck his cock while he ate his food and then he raped me and hit me with a shoe all night and i didnt even complain cos i felt like i deserved it for being such a horrible slut even though it made me want to die inside. Uncle larry finally left me alone and I thought about killing myself as i cryed and cryed as i fell slowly into a dreamless sleep.

**(Please die. Just die. How DARE you act like rape is deserved. Oh my god.)**


	5. Chapter 5

AN - can i have some reveiws pls?

Chapter 5 - the talent contest

It was a week later and I felt like I was slowly dying inside. My life had crumbled into pieces and I was alone in the horrible darkness of my mind. the four chearleaders had folowed me a round school and been mean to me for the last week making fun of my clothes and my purple streaked blond hair and saying i was too slim and that i had boobs like a pron star. It relay upset me. and also uncle larry had taken my clothed off and rapped me loads of times last week and even though dave and marie were back home now every time they went out to different places they left me with him and he hit me and made me sleep with was so horrible **(you still haven't called the cops. Wow) ** I wanted to die every time it happened. Edward Culen stared at me whenever he saw me at school but i just anchored him and pretended he wasnt there i was so embaresed about watt had hapenned and I hated him for the way he made me feel and the fact that he was a cheater and an ass. I would probably have ended my life that week if it hadnt been for my lovley new freinds abbigaille rochelle and tyfanni, who were all totally cool and helped me fight off the evil chearleaders - i hadnt told my freinds aboit uncle larry and ewdard but it was nice to have some peopel who liked me anyways. I sat in the cafeteira with them at lunch

"hey tiana are you doing the talent contest tonite?" rochelle asked me

"no way im not good enough!" i said shyly

"omfg are you kidding! yor a AMAZIN singer your the best iv'e ever heard, no joke!" shouted abbigaile **(Kody: Hey. Hey Twin. You are like the prettiest girl I know and the bestest singer. She says WTF. And to never say that again.)**

"thank you but your just being nice, im' not THAT good an even if i was i wouldn't perform. I mean i hardly want to contract more attension to myself than i already have, the whole school is all ready talking about me saying watt a freak i am. I just wanna be an average person"

"come on tiaa you HAVE to do it!" tyffanie said, "jessica and bella and the chearleaders win every time with there dumb dance routine it is so annoying, they arent even talented someone needs to teach them a lesson hun!"

"I dunno maybe" I plimpled mutely but I had no intension of actually doin it.

Later on me and my freinds sat in the crowd and wached the contest. The chearleaders did there dance ruotine and they werent that awesome, they were just wearing slutty cloths so all the guys could stare at them and cause they were popular no one was allowed to say they sucked. At the end bella ran into edwards arms and I felt flames of jelusy burning up inside me. they kissed for a long time and although he looked at me the whole time i still wanted to cry and scream.

The principal caked up on the stage and said

"and now for our final act...atlantiana rebeckah loren!" everyone looked at me and I was shocked

"omfg who put my fringing name down for this!" I screamed

"who knows girl just get up there !" abbie pushed me towards the stage and I went up there.

I sang total eclipse of the heart (punkrock verson so it wasnt sappy and lame or anythin!0 **(1. How DARE you call that song lame. And 2. The song is meant to be sappy. Listen to the lyrics.) **and everyone watched me. I was embarased at first but everyone semed to be enjoying themselves (exept the chearleaders who looked totally mad!LOL) so I sang louder and louder and my voice soared higher than ever was like magic. I was waering a purple lacy top cut low enough that you could see my bra and a black skirt and purple fishnets and spiky black heels. **(and the cheerleaders are dressed like sluts? Come now, let's not play miss high and mightly here.) **the song finished and everyone looked happy and clangled at me and i went blushing to sit on my freinds

"remind me to kill wichever one of you beeches put my name down for this!-" i said but i was smiling

"LOL" shouted rochelle "it wasnt us you no!"

"and the winner is...ATLANTIANA REBECKAH LOREN! " the principal screamed extatically. I went back up onto the stage and shock his hand and everyone appladed me and screamed my name except for jessica and bella who looked like they were about to kill me, lmfao. My eyes strayed to where edward stood gazing baldly at me. I all most fainted right then at the sight of him looking so hawt and gorgeous. I dnt think anyone else had noticed but he had a MASSIVE erection it was so hawt and sexoy. I saw bella and jessica storming out of the room angry that i had won, and I smiled.

Later on i walked home happily, then a car purred up beside me. It was ewdard!

"get in the car i'll drive thee home sweet lady" he said in his beautiful old fashioned speech. I did as he told me without knowing were quiet for a minite

"you were awesome tonight, you have a stunning voice like silk and satin in the moonlight. You looked beyond beautiful up on that stage, like an old painting in a church. **(Old paintings in churches totally wear slutty clothes and have peircings and sing along to awful versions of good songs. And have streaks.) ** i wanted to charge right at u and kiss thine lips right there" he still had a huge erection and i wanted to touch it so badly but i didnt.

"i think BELLA might have had somethin to say about that!" i snapped "where is she neway?"

"at home sulking cause she lost the contest and had a total hissy fit and cryed for hours because thee was better than her in the contest"

"how mature" I said sacastically. At that moment edward pulled his car to the side of the road and looked me in the touched my hand and I slapped him hard in the face

'YOU WILL NEVER TOUCHE ME AGAIN U SICKO!#" I wailed and kept hitting him in the face and chest "last week I fuckin BEGGED u to sex on me and you turned me down! I have never been so humilated in all my frickin LIFE! Watt the hell is wong with u? One mimite your all over me and the next its like i dnt even exist! dnt fuckin touch me. EVERR!"

"its complecated tiaa my lady. Im sorry i hurt thine feelings. Its just i cant resist thee, but i cant be with thy either. I never ment to drag thou into this mess, its not thee fault i totally ruin everything. Im so SO SORRY. IM DESPISABLE!"

"its me or her "i said bluntly

"i cant make that choice tiaa - he wept **(Cuz guys cry so easily.) **

"you are going to have to!"

"first thee have to tell me who thou relay are!" he said "who were thy parents?what are thee?"

"my mom dies when I was bored, I never new my father. Thats it." i said

"we BOTH no thats not the full story. Your a vampire, like me"

-omfg i'm NOT a frickin vampire! I think id have noticed u total dipshit"

"you don't drink human blood"- he asked

"i dont drink any blood u asshole. Is this ur idea of a joke, cos no ones laughing!" i got out of the car and ran away feeling insulted.i didnt want to see that stupid hawt jerk ever again! I went home. But i couldnt get rid of the memory of his sharp erection and deadly cold body. i cut myself and went to sleep in tears. **(Cutting =/= goth ya dumb poser.)**


	6. Chapter 6

AN - dnt all just attack me for the things writen in this chapter about Tiaas parents, i havent explaned everything yet an it will make more sense later.

Chapter 6 - the curse

-Oh ewdard with your skin so white

Your eyes like amber out of sight

Pale angel in my eyes

Hair like gold rosy sunrise-

I read the words of my poem out quietly. I had written a poem about Edward, i just couldnt help myself. I hated myself for doing it but i couldnt get him out of my mind and it was the only way i could deal with my feelings. Soddenly my mind went black and i felt into a trance. A tall pale man stood in front of me all ghosty and misty like he was only half there.

"my daugher? My daughter?" he moaned

"who are you?" i wispa quietly

"i am your FATHER! I AM CAIUS FROM THE VOLTURI! Your in terror and peril my daugher! Beware the vampire boy called edward!" **(Total plot twist. Not.)**

"why?" I said

"you mussent let him sex you or the curse your mother tried to protect you from will fall on you...you'll become a VAMPIRE! And you will never be safe! Only as a human can you be safe from them..." then he faded and I was awake and uncle larry was standing at my door.

"take ur clothes off now you moldy slut!" said uncle larry and he smiles horribly with his yellow teeth

"no i wont" i screamed but uncle larry came over and hit me. I was strong for my size but he was a huge fat man like 300 pounds in weight and stronger than me. He took my clothes off and chained me to the bed. I new he was going to rape me again. But at that moment someone came running into the room and hit uncle larry across the head with a stick and knocks him out cold. Uncle larry laid there bleeding and i looked up at...EDWARD!

"omg my sweet lady" he cried! "what has this frightful asshole been doing to thee?"

"he's been raping me and hitting me" i weeped sadly as edward unchained me and i put my clothes on. Edward turned away whale I dressed so he wasnt perving on me, and he looked down at the poem I had wroten.

"for truth!these are the most beautiful words I have ever seen, it makes me feel so very moved" he cried "i wish i wasnt promised to someone else then i could write poems for thee" **(They're actually rather like a 13 year old emo kids writings before they figure out E.A. Poe wrote way better stuffs.)**

"why are u promised to bella anyways" i ask

" Be cause i made a promise and i cant' break it, it would be rude and ungentalmanly. Bella never used to be like she is now,when i fist met her she was sweet and shy and was never nasty about everybody but she has changed and so have her freinds. I dont know watt made her change, maybe it is mine fault, she just seems angry all the time now."

"Yah that makes sense I guess" i said.

We left the house and went to walk in the woods. We talked about loads of things and it turned out we had a lot in comnon. We liked all the same music and movies and books and stuff, it was like magic.

"you know maybe bella is unhappy be cause you guys are not in love like u used to be, and u should brake up with her so she can move on and your can both be happy" i say

"she all ways used to say that shed kill herself if I left her. I could not be responsable for her death! I just don't get what has happened to her she used to be nice and sweet like thou my lady. And now i am falling in love with thou and it is all such a darn mess!" He hit a tree in frustration and it broke. He was so strong, i guess cause he was a vampire.

"your falling in love with me?" i ask, my cheeks going all red and my heart starting to sore

"omg, forget I said that!" he looked relay embarassed and it was so cute. He had a big erection too.

I retched out and grabbed his hard throbbing male object. **(It's called a penis dear.)**We couldn't controll ourselves any more and we both fell down on the floor and got naked and made love. It was amazing and lasted hours and I had never been so happy in my life i felt like i coud die with happines. But after a while edward started to freak out and cry.

"I HAVE BEEN SUCH A FOOL!" he screamed "i should not have let that hapen! I hope thee can forgive me, i must return to Bella!" and he ran away.

I could not believe it. It was like my world was caving in all about me.i was so socked and angry i could not even cry or scream. But as i lay there i started to fell diferent, like RELAY diferent. I suddenly remembed watt my father had said to me about not making sex with edward or he woud turn me into a vampire! My skin was getting all hard and pale and my eyes could suddenly see a lot clearer than before! I could hear lots of little noises even form relay far away. I even wanted to drink blood!and i could smell a human comin closer, he was almost here

"There you are you horrid SLUG!" it was uncle larry "where have u been? I'm goin to rape u now!"

Something in me snaped. I jumped at him and broke his neck and drank his blood! i had always ben strong for my size but now i was SUPER strong!He looked so surprised and it was so GOOD! Soon i dropped him on the floor and he was...dead!


	7. Chapter 7

thanx for the revews! **(no, thank you for the delicious fail)**

Chapter 7 - Surprises!

I woke up sheepishly and wandered where I was for a minute. I got out of bed, wandering if all the things that had hapened to me last night were just a dream. I went downstairs for breakfast and sat down with Dave and Marie. THey look at me and smiles adoringly. **(Jeesh, they flipping brainwashed or something?)**

"wow tiaa i love your new hair and contat lenses, your look so beautiful!" said marie with her face all bright and happiness. **(f*cking sycophant.)**

I got up and look in a mirror. Holly shite! I looked totally diffrent! For the first time I could see my face was truely beautiful, it was even prettier than before. **(Thought you said you weren't pretty before, Tia Sue?)**My eyes were a weird silver **(Blue to silver? WTF? And um, they go red. And then golden. I mean at least read the damn books.) **color like wet pools of noble moonlight in distant medows,and my ivory gold hair seemed to shimmer like the suns burned rays in the morning, with the purple streaks shining like neon lilac. I was radiant and magical and looked awesome. My skin was even more pale than before and my features more delicate and queen-like, my nose was small and dashing and my cheeks were high and pale **(we get it. You are pale. I'm pale too. Hell, most people are.) **and my chin was soft but majestic. I was amazed. Suddenly the phone rang and nuked me out of my silent staring. Dave answered it. **(Wow. You're more self absorbed than Naomi. Or Dorian Gray. Or Lestat. I mean holy crap, Not even Lestat takes a whole paragraph to blah about how 'hot' he is.**

**Kody: Naomi and Dorian's story, coming soon!)**

"what? oh my god! Your kidding! This is inconsideratable!" and he hung up

"whats happened honey?" Marie asked smiling

"uncle larry is died, it looks like he was ripped apart by a wild beast! I feel so sad! he was my brother" **(And a rapist.)**

I suddenly remembered what I had done, and i screamed and ran to school. I felt so awful and giulty for what I had done! I new uncle larry was a perv and a rasist **(so now he's a racist?) **and even thou he had raped me and tied me up and spanked me and made my life hell I still shoudnt have killed him! I was going to explode with guilt. i ran through the forest towards the school but suddenly a large thing appeared in front of me. it was a bear - a big panda bear! it was huge and fluffy and realy cute, but I was scared as this was a totally weird thing to happen. **(….what. the. Fuck.)**

"greetings atlantaina!" it said - i was totally freaked out - since when did panda bears live in Forks? And since when did they SPEAK? I was totally confused

"WTF?" i screamed!

"I'm a panda bear, my name is Snooflanti-tatuna but you can call me Snoofles." **(….WHAT. THE. FUCK!)**

"A talking PANDA BEAR?" i shouted furiusly

"I cannot talk like humans can, but your not human anymore so you can understand me. You can talk to animals. You probably have other powers too you just don't know it yet" **(So you're not just a fucking VAMPIRE now, now you can talk to animals. Naomi fucking practices voodoo and she can't do that.  
><strong>

**Kody: Same here….TIA SUE!)**

"like watt?" i said

"I dunno, touch that tree" said Snoofles, smiling at me. I touched the tree and consentrated hard and even though it was winter the tree suddenly started to bloom huge bunches of flowers. The flowers cascadad down like a river onto the bare forest floor. i took my hand away in horror. The flowers were so beautiful they made me think of edward. then i remembered how he had left me after we had made love, and i became angry. I touched another tree and it burst into flames. It was as if the trees turned into things that somehow reflected how I was feeling! **(Are you flipping kidding me. You're a vampire, so you're super strong and fast, now you can make shit grow, and talk to pandas that appear out of no fucking where. Oh my god. I wouldn't believe it if I read it in a goddamn house of night novel. Not even that ho bag zoey redsue is this bad.)**

"OMG, how is this possible?" i said

"Don't ask me I'm just a panda, lol" said Snoofles with a big grin and he raised his eyebows,"but I'm so happy to find a person who can understand my speaking! i al; ways wanted a human friend! will you be my human friend?"

"well yah ok" i said, "but i have to go to school now so I'll see you later Snoofles ok?"

"that's cool" said Snoofles "i'll see you later"

I ran away and was totaly weirded out by my meeting with Snoofles. I was almost in a trance at school and even though people starred at me and made coments about my new apperance I had never cared less.

in gym class I ran around dressed in my gym clothes. i was playing dodgball and the cleerleaders kept throwing there balls at me realy hard like biaches but i was dodging them at the speed of light. Lauren came over to me and tries to hit me over the face with her balls and I slapped her in the face.

"WTF you freaky goth tudor (**not a goth, honey.)** bitch!" she shouted with her ugly face flapping like a big bag

"leave me alone yeah?" i said looking more beautiful than ever **( I don't think about how hot I am when I'm in a fight. Jus sayin.)**

"no - ill never leave u alone becase your so werid! what has hapened to your face its like your from another planet, your so pale and delicate **(WHO THE HELL SAYS THAT TO AN ENEMY!) ** its freaking everyone out and we all hate you!"

I was so mad i pushed her but when my hands touched her arms her skin started to blister and froth in a totally gross way and she got struck by a bolt of lightning. **(I dub thee worse than fucking Ebony Way. And Zoey Redbird. And Bella. COMBINED.) **She wasnt dead or anything but she looked totally disgusting and she got taken to the hospital.

I didnt look for my friends and after gym class I sat in the changing rooms after everyone has left and cried becase I felt so sorry for watt I had done to uncle larry and to lauren. I was sat there wearing a very short leather mini-dress and red ripped tights and a skull necklace and a gothic top hat with feathers on it. **(That outfit sounds hideous and you are a slut.) **Suddenly I heard a voices from behind me

"Tiaa? Tiaa? It is I Edward Cullen!" said edward. i turned to kook at him and he gasped in a high piched way and fell over onto the floor. I was mad at him and totaly upset about other stuff so i didnt check to see if he was ok. He got up in a minute.

"I fainted Tiaa, thou is so sexy and exqisite i lost my contentioness. Thy face is even more sacred and filled with shinning glory than before, I am amazed" but then he noticed I was crying tears of soft blood **(someone call a hospital! He cries blood! EBOLA!) **and he said "what is wrong with thee?" said Edward

"I killed someone Ewadrd! I killed my uncle and drank his blood and I think I made lauren get stuck by lightning"

"its ok Tiaa he was evil and noone cares about lauren" **(Except, ya know, her parents you evil little witch.) **Edward says to comfort me and he put his arms round me

"still watt i did was awfull and anyways GET OFF ME!" i stood up and shock him off me "dont come near me ever again! I havent forgiven you for whatt happened last night! We did sex and you left me there in the forest!"

"I'm sorry! I cannot stay away from thee and yet I cannot be with thee either" he cried and threw his hands up and weeped

"make your mind up Ewdard! this is a serious thing! Ether stay here with me now and screw me and be with me forrever or leave and go be with Bella! Make youre choice right now!"

"I choose thee Atlantnina! Bella is a big mean cow **(that's really rude.) **and I cant be with her anymore! I will never leave thou side again my lovley damsell!"

He started to cry and I kissed him. He was so amazing. His yellow eyes and tussled aubon hair and pale skin made me want to screw him all the time, I'd never seen anybody look so perfect. I took off my dress so I was only wearing my underwear and i sat on his knee **(aren't you still in school? I mean dang, not even the sluttiest stripper at the club gets down in public like that.) **and we kissed a lot. He touched me all over and I felt dizzy and week.

"Do you mean it edward? You'll be mine forrever?"

"I does, i shall be thy mate" he said beautifully in his smooth hot velvet voice

I found some handcuffs on a bench and I tied him to a hook. he was unable to move and i took his pants down and looked at his throbbing lavender man-fruit thing. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen and I put it in my mouth and sucked it and he thrusted madly untill he had an orgasm in my mouth. **(Mind bleach and a bottle of Jack Daniels. Please. Hurry.) **The hot juice flowered in my mouth and it was magical. Sodenly a voice came from behind me

"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING YOU EVIL RODENT PEOPLE? I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU BOTH AND NOW I AM GOING TO KILL MYSELF!" **(Bella grows balls!)**

It was Bella Swan!


	8. Chapter 8

hey guys sory its been so long since an update, i hav been so busy latley. sooooo..i had a fight with my old beta but i have a new 1 now an she is helpin me byut she is on vacaton this wk and next so i promise i will sort the spellin mistaks out wen i can! **(Cuz you were doing such a good job beforehand.)**

Chapter 8 - the Kidnap

I sat alone in the changes rooms, i was all most naked **(Sluttttttah) ** and looked awsome with my exotic lithely hair falling down over my face like a curtan of soft yellow cream **(Thought it was white blonde)** with bits of purple in it. but I didnt care how beautifull or eqxisite I was any more. Edward was gone. he had left to follow Bella to stop her from killin herself and i was SO mad. how coud he leave me like that after sayin bella was a cow and he didnt like her no more? I was pissed! and the tears were falling down my face like a tepid summer rain of misery and woe. So i went home and skipped school and sat in my room in my black corset and leather panties **(Leather panties sound VERY uncomfortable. Let me ask one of the strippers.**

**She says they are very uncomfy and no one in the club wears them. Even the owner advises against them. She also said if you wear those a lot you will get an infection and have to drink cranberry juice shots and take pills that make you pee orange. Just a warning, Tia-sue.) ** and i smoked some drugs and started to weep.

dave came in and made a big smiley face.

"hi tiaa! I didnt no you were home! how was school today?" (he didnt notice i was smokin drugs he thougt my cigarete of pot was a chapstick) **(Apparently he is dumber than a puppy. No clue how a dope cigarette looks like chapstick, since chapstick is thrice the size of one.) **

"it sucks!my life sucks and i want to DIE!" **(Like every other poser teenager.) **i scremed and my eyes glitered with beauty.

"u teenagers and ur problems, LOL!" he said laughing a lot, and i knew he thougt i was just some silly kid wineing about homework and dumb boys and stuff. he didnt no i had killed a man and lost the love off my life and had made lauren get hit by lighting and that all the kids at school thougt i was a freak becase my face and bodys were so diffrent from everyone elses. **(Are you going to the school for the Aryan Nation? I mean come on. People do have different bodies, you know. You're tall and skinny and blonde with impossibly large boobies. I'm 5'8" and athletic and a brunette. Naomi is 5'4", skinny, size 38A boobies and has dark brown hair. Need I go on?)**

"dave your a good person but ur SO FUCKIN DUMB! YOU ASSHOLE!" **(My dad would murder me cheerfully if I ever said that to him.) **i shouted at him and i threw my ashtray at his head WITHOUT TOUCHING IT **(i could make stuff move when i was angry now (Look, another fucking power for Tia sue.) **...it was so weird! why did this have too happen to me!)

"haha, i guess your right" he laughed **(I swear to got he is dumber than a rock.) **(he thougt i was joking, i wasnt spoiled or anythin) "its so nice havin you hear tiana, your so pretty. i swear your even prettier than before! and i think your boobs hav grown!" **(That is fucking perverted.)**

"yeh i no they are like an E cup now" i said. **(And you don't have back problems? That is physically impossible dear, as boobies are fat and you seem to have none. Thus, physical impossibility.)**

Dave smiled and patted me on the head and left.

I was so sick of bein treated like a kid and no one listenin to me that i got up and got dresed in a long black dress and took some pills (of drugs) and went out to the local nightclub which was called Pablo NIghtmare - it was a goth club were all the cool people went in forks **(But you're not goth…)**. bella probably had never even heard of it, LOL! i met snoofles on the way and he came with me. we went to the club and got drinks and started dancing to the heavy metal music. **(They don't play heavy metal music in goth clubs, dear. Not that you've ever heard a real heavy metal song, other than your scream crap by BVB. Likely they'd be playing Bauhaus and The Cure, or hell, even Cradle Of Filth. Not that you know who those bands are. Because you. Are not-a-goth.) **ppl there stared at us cos i was so diffrerent **(Because you're not goth and they can tell. Otherwise, a long black dress isn't so unique.) **looking and Snoofles was a panda, but we didnt care we were havin so much fun we were SO drunk and had taken a lot of drugs so my head was fuzzy like there was snow everywhere.

"hi your called Tiana arent you? I am Jasper and I go to your school" said Jasper Cullen who was tall with blond curly hair like straw only soft and nice and not dry. he was tall. he was wearin a black pulover and red metal pointy shoes. (AN - haha, that descripton sounded beter in my head, OH WELL!)

"hey whatever" i said. "why arent you with that girl i all ways see you with?"

"you mean my GF alice," he said and locked soddenly very sad and started to cry and bite down hard on his lips.

"what is wrong Jasper?" i said

"the problem is i dont love her like she loves me. i am gay, and thats wrong, and i feel so horible about it!"

"theres nothing bad about bein gay u no" i said. **(No there isn't. right Kody!**

**Kody: I love being gay. Love it. But I would go straight if tia sue here tried to get me.**

**Val: Alriiiiight.)**

"REALLY?" he sed, and looked chocked with his mouth open.

"yeah, its proper normal and Snoofles is gay and everything" i said and Snoofles waved and Jasper waves back. he smiled and we all stared dancing together and Jasper gave us some of his drugs.

we had a relay good time and jasper met another gay guy called Vince and we all got in Snoofleses car at the end of the night and i drove around while the others all had sex in the back of the car. (i was drunk but cos i was a vampire it was ok to drive i had beter reflex than humans!) **(you're still drunk, still illegal. Also you cannot get drunk, and, according to anne Rice and any other vampire fiction, would be sick if you had human food. And Sex. With a panda.)**

but soddenly somethin jumped into the road infront of us and i had to stop the car and get out. there was a man standin in the middle of the road he was tall and mussely and had black hair like the black feathers of a raven in the black darkness. he was good looking but he looked so angry i got out my samurai sword (i often have it with me!) **(Why in gods name do you have a samurai sword. Oh. I know. Because you're TIA FUCKING SUE.) **but somone jammed up behind me and tore it from me, there were like ten people all grabbing my body in the darkness and they put a thing over my face so i coudnt see and they tied me up! Jasper Snoofles and Vince were too busy doing gay sex on each other to notice, i cud hear them grunting and humping and having orgasms on each other - it was so cute **(Yeah, gay sex, so cute.) ** but now was SO not the time! The men who had caught me took me away and somethin hit me over the head and i was unconshous.

when i awoken i found myself in a small dark room and the tall mussel man was in front of me. i was strip down to my underwear and i was chained to a chair with some metal chains and i coudnt move.

"WHO ARE YOU YOU WANKY PERV!" i shoyted.

"I AM JACOB...THE WEREWOLF KING!" **(lol funny)**he yelled with his eyes rolling around in his face - he looked so mad and CRAZY!

"NOOOOOOO!" I scremed and i try to broke myself free but i was under so many heavy chains so i looked into his wagging face insted.

"Watt do u want from me? why am i here?" i say and i started to cry.

"YOU MUST BE PUNISHED FOR WHAT YOU DID TO BELLA SWAN!" he shreeked and the drool was sloapping down his face just like rain only thick and foam-like. "YOU ARE A HALF-BREAD! **(You are only half of a piece of bread.)**YOU SHOUD NEVER HAVE BEEN BORNE! YOUR FATHER WAS A VAMPIRE AND YOUR MOM WAS A WHITCH! **(Of course you are. Cuz the fucking powers weren't enough.) ** ITS WEIRD AND WRONG AND NOW YOUVE BROKEN BELLAS HEART! HALF-BREAD! HALF-BREAD! HALF-BREAD!"

This dude was insane, he was so angery he was jumpin up and down. But something he said had caugt my atention.

"What do u mean my mom was a whitch?" I said.

"MY FATHER USED TO NO HER! SHE LIVED HERE IN LA PUSH AND SHE WAS A WHITCH! SHE COUD MAKE FIRE COME FROM NOWERE AND CONTROLL THE WETHER AND TALK TO ANIMALS AND LOADS OF OTHER STUFF! SHE WAS A FREAK LIKE U!" **(Kody's gonna go crazy voodoo bitch on you. Please hold.)**

Of corse! It all made sense now! I was so shocked I fainted,

When i woke up Jacob was in front of me and he was NAKED! He was smilling in a proper creepy way and looked totaly weird like a greasy frog thing and his male genital item was not nice like edwards it was like a horible wet mushroom. **(Cuz when I get raped all I care about is the size of the rapists genitals. Hope you die.) **he stroked my knee with it and i gapsed. whatt was he going to do to me! but sudenly before he coud come any closer the door of the room we were in burst open!

IT WAS EWDARD! **(EWDARD! EWWWWWWWDARD!))**


End file.
